Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Deal Breaker or Room for Improvement?

Everyone has (or should have) their relationship deal breakers. These are the big ones like doesn't want kids, doesn't practice the same religion as me, lives in a different country. Then there are the easy fixes like doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher, has too many shoes, doesn't always call when they say they will.

But what about those qualities in a partner that fall in the middle of deal breakers and easy fixes? Things like doesn't communicate well, doesn't share the same passions, isn't supportive of your life goals. They aren't big enough to end a relationship over, but they take a little bit more work than, "Hey babe, can you please clean up your shit?"

It's easy to break it off with someone who has done something terrible or is 100% incompatible with you and little things can certainly be improved upon in a healthy relationship.

When do we stop trying to fix the relationship and call it quits? My first thought is to say, "Well if you truly love that person, that you can work through the hard stuff." But I hesitate because love isn't always the end all relationship fixer. We all know there are the people that 100% love and care for their partners but are in an abusive and unhealthy relationship. So love can't be the answer.

I suppose it is one of those things that we have to take day by day. I truly believe that we should be individuals first and partners second so I imagine if a characteristic of a partner isn't allowing you to be the best possible version of yourself, that's when it becomes a deal breaker.

This is obviously a lot easier said than done. Everything is more difficult when you're in the middle of it. What do you think? Have you been in a situation where you weren't sure if you were facing a deal breaker or something that left room for improvement? Let me know with a comment or two.

Love much,

♪:"Pusher Love Girl" by Justin Timberlake

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