Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Ladies Who (Talk Sex at) Lunch

Lately, my Monday and Wednesday lunches have involved nosebleeds, queefing, and female grooming. No, not the real thing! Just the discussions I've had with my lunchmates, Jasmine, Seven, and Coco. I'm not sure what it is about these girls but our conversations always, always, always turn to sex. I've really learned a lot about them and their sex lives the past few days and I wanted to share with you the topics we've discussed.

It never fails that when a group of girls start discussing sex, one brave soul will bring up the dreaded topic: queefing. We all want to talk about it but at the same time, we don't even want to acknowledge that this mortifying phenomenon exists.

This particular conversation with the girls is what caused Seven's nickname. The number seven is in reference to an especially awkward queefing experience she had in front of a sexual partner ("I swear, it was like seven Mississippis long!"). Thankfully, the guy was a gentlemen and didn't make a big deal of it, punctuating the moment with a simple pat on the shoulder and a "It's okay."

From there, the conversation moved to condoms and the fact that guys "forget" to bring them. Smart girls keep spare condoms around just in case, but in Seven's case, her stash of condoms is more than a backup–it's a decision factor.

"I only have Magnums because I shouldn't be having sex with anyone that can't fit into a Magnum," says Seven oh so confidently.

Eventually, Jasmine was able to update us on her recent romantic escapades. She likes one guy who doesn't want to get serious while another guy that she doesn't really like does want to get serious. Jasmine ended up "watching a movie" at Mr. Serious' house (how sweet is this: Mr. Serious moved into a new house that day and was insistent with his roommate that everything must be moved in on time so that Jasmine could come over and hang out).

Jasmine, who did not prepare her downstairs because she had no intention of letting him see it, ended up letting him see it. And to her knowledge, he didn't mind one bit! The girls were under the impression that guys of our age don't care as much about female grooming as they once did. I hope to God that's true!

I very much look forward to more of these conversations in the coming weeks, be sure to check back for updates on these ladies.

Love much,
Lavender


♪: "Elephant (Todd Rundgren Remix)" by Tame Impala




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